moving forward and helping others: a context

I do wonder sometimes about the opportunities that I have been given. And most importantly how I can share the resources I have found with others who need them.
I have worked so hard to distance myself from my background in order to rise above it that I often feel lost when I think of going back to help others.
There’s also the issue of a different culture. I have been so inundated by the culture of my present that it seems almost impossible to connect to others well enough to help them. I know the distrust that comes from being hurt so many times but I don’t know if I could ever overcome that distrust in another person. I am not the sort of person that warms easily nor the sort that is trusted easily.
I don’t fit the bill either. I also know that my background and raising don’t make me the most suited to caring for others. I don’t have the loving patience that is expected of such volunteers. I tend to strike out to protect those I care about, having been raised to believe in a firm hand to guide. Which is of course what most of those people that I want to help also believe in but not a fitting guideline for an organization.
And I think the most crippling thing is that I simply don’t know where to begin. I know my own strengths and weaknesses but I don’t know of any programs that eed the help of the sort of person I am. And I don’t know where to find such a need. I don’t have any connectedness with these organizations. I see a very big picture and I know that my vision of it is very radical. I don’t want to overhaul or compromise myself but I want to help in the current present in a real way rather than just theory.
Also, I know that it sounds quite cynical but from my point of theory these small acts are helpful. If you want to overhaul capitalism, encouraging ethical spending isn’t actually meaningful.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s